..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
