they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
