If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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