What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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