Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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