About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
