Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize