my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
