so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize