Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize