Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
