I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we should paint friendship bongs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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