how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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