Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
