This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
