so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
