Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
