dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
