if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
