he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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