i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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