after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
