Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
