I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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