dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
