I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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