Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
