he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize