Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
