then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
