I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I have tasted many bathrooms
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
