He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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