We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
