Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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