omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
