This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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