Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
