I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You ruined the universe
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