And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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