Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
