called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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