sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
