Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize