dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
