He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it's like iHOP with fire
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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