he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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