I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
