this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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