i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
