You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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