i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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