The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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