I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
