omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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