What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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