I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My penis needs a shock collar
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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