dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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