if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
