I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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