her vagine was all disorganized.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
