But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
